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This morning Little E and I were laying on my bed cuddling and playing cars. He looked at me, gave me a hug and said, “I love you Mommy, this much in the whole, wide world. I’m happy you’re here.” Awwww…
So bring on the baby spit up, dirty diapers and juice spills. I wouldn’t trade this job for a trillion dollars!
I never had an imaginary friend as a kid. But, I did have a great imagination. My brother and I would play for hours and hours together pretending I was the teacher and he was the student or I was the cook and he was the customer. Yes, I thought it was sooo much fun to take orders from my little brother and make him whatever he wanted for lunch. Then I would serve it to him on a special plate and clean up after him! He must have been laughing inside! We also spent countless hours building things with legos and of course acting out stories with my cabbage patch dolls.
Now, I have such fun watching Little E. He has an amazing imagination! I love watching him play with his pirate ship and see the concentration on his face and hear the different voices he uses for the pirate and the captain. And of course, the train table provides endless hours of fun and imaginary stories. He also has great conversations on his cell phone. But, the latest, is his imaginary friend. Well, he’s not completely imaginary, I guess I should say he is Little E’s invisible friend. Little E has a cousin that he adores. Actually, I think he half way worships him. His cousin is 5 years old and Little E wants to do everything his cousin does. About a week ago, his cousing started “appearing” around the house.
“Little E, let’s sit down and have breakfast.” “Mommy, cousin wants to eat too. See, he’s sitting right beside me.” O-k. “Mommy, ask cousin if he wants to read a story too.” Or “Mommy, cousin is all done with dinner, can I be ’scused, too?”
The appearance of his “cousin” is becoming very common and my Mom said Little E has started doing it at her house, too. I guess this is normal and it’s kind of cute. But, I don’t know how much my husband and I should play along. So far, he hasn’t used his “cousin” to blame things on. I wonder if any of your kids have imaginary friends and how you handle it. Do you “talk” to the friend when your child asks you too? Move over when you’re sitting in the seat that is already taken by the “friend”? I assume this is all very normal and part of growing up. The only thing has me the tiniest bit concerned is that Little E’s cousin is moving this weekend half away across the country. We will go from seeing him twice a week to twice a year. I wonder if his cousin will start “appearing” more when Little E misses seeing him. If so, is this a healthy way of dealing with his sadness and should I just go with it?
For now, I’m not necessarily encouraging it, but I am playing along. Little E knows he’s just pretending and until his invisible cousin starts getting blamed for things around the house, I’m going to consider it harmless and part of the fun of being three!
So, I woke up on Monday morning and wanted to call in sick. Stay in bed, watch cheesey daytime movies, drink lots of sprite. Then I heard the noises on the baby monitor next to me that reminded me that I have two kids and there isn’t anyone to call to take my place for the day. Unfortunately (well actually, fortunately, depending upon how you look at it), I’m kind of irreplaceble. So, oh well, the daytime movies will have to wait.
I have a nasty cold. You know the kind, runny nose, sore throat, aching ears and head. Not bad enough to see the doctor, just really annoying. And to top it off I slept three hours last night because Baby M had a REALLY bad night. Argghhhh I really didn’t know how I was going to make it through the day. On top of it all, I had to be at a MOPS meeting by 8:45 with 30 helium balloons and fruit salad.
And I will admit, when I woke up, I didn’t have the best attitude about the day. I figured it was going to be really bad. But, as the day progressed, I realized how lucky I am. I know it’s wierd to be thinking about that when I felt so bad, but my day went surprisingly well. Little E was an absolute angel at our MOPS meeting. He was super cooperative and very obedient and had a great time playing with his friends. After lunch, he snuggled up with me in bed and watched a movie while I took a short nap. And Baby M took a 4 hour nap - yes 4 HOURS!
After my short nap, I was cleaning up the mounds of kleenex and getting a snack ready for Little E. He walked up to me with the most concerned look on his face and said, “Mommy, you feeling better, now?” Ahhhh, of course, I said yes I am and it’s because you are so sweet and have been helping mommy today. That just made my day! Then, when my husband came home from work, he took the kids to go to dinner at his parent’s house so I could take a nap. How thoughtful!
So, yes, the day was rough and I was sooo tired, but how lucky am I to have a son that is so sweet and helpful when I need him to be. And to have a husband who is thoughtful and caring. And Baby M, well she’s just cute and sweet without even having to try!
It’s Wednesday now and the cold has spread to Baby M and my husband, but luckily Little E is still well. But, thank goodness, my wonderful, wonderful Mom has taken Little E to her house to play so I can take care of Baby M and maybe get a nap in, too.
Life is good.
Mommy Guilt - I’m sure we have all dealt with this at some point. And I was all prepared to write about my guilt this week concerning breastfeeding and how I decided to start weaning Baby M. I was going to vent about how it’s been stressful feeding her because I don’t have enough milk and she screams because she’s still hungry and how I feel guilty switching to formula even though I know it’s perfectly fine for her. So, I was going to whine and vent and wallow a bit in my feelings of guilt and sadness regarding Baby M moving to bottle feeding.
But, I got distracted in the middle of writing and started reading a few other Mom blogs. One was about a woman’s struggle with infertility and how she is still trying after many years to conceive. Another was about a Mom with a child who has a serious illness. I then thought about a few of my friends whose husbands are in the military. They are not only raising their kids alone but also have to deal with missing and worrying about their husbands.
Suddenly my frustration with breastfeeding didn’t seem so important. Now, I already knew that it wasn’t a huge problem in the grand scheme of things, but I really needed to gain a bit of perspective. This is one of the great things about havng a network of other Mom’s (whether in real life or in the blogosphere). It’s so important to have friends that you can share your struggles with - big or small. Because our small struggles are important and we need to have people that won’t judge us for our small worries. But, it is also important to gain perspective and look at our problems in relation to the big picture.
I am sure that the woman who is trying to become pregnant would love to be worrying about whether or not she can breastfeed her baby. So while I am still a little sad about no longer breastfeeding Baby M, I am not feeling upset by it. It’s such a small thing, really. I’m so lucky that I was able to have that special time with her for almost 5 months. And, let me just add that if any of you happen to do a Google search about weaning a young baby and happen to find the same link I did - It is NOT true that your baby will be traumatized by weaning and wonder if their mother still loves them. Yes, someone actually wrote that!!! Talk about Mommy Guilt!
So, tonight I am counting my blessings that my biggest worry of the week is trying to figure out how many ounces Baby M should be drinking and which formula is best for her. How do you choose from so many formula choices? I was going to go with the one that had the cutest, cuddliest teddy bear on the front but thought that may not be the most educated way to make a decision. Guess I’ll be calling the pediatrician tomorrow.
My husband is attending a conference in San Francisco this week so Baby M and I tagged along. We decided to leave Little E at home this time. I didn’t think it would be a good idea to tackle a new, big city, a three hour time change, a 4 month old and 3 year old all by myself. I know, I’m such a wimp. But, no worries, Little E is happy as a clam having “5 sleepovers” with my parents. Little E and my mom are having so much fun that I worry he will not want to come back home. Just kidding, well maybe I am worried, just a little.
I didn’t really think it was that big of a deal to fly accross country and tour the city by myself with a 4 month old. But, apparently, to some people it is. I have had so many people say how brave I am to go on a vacation with a baby. “Wow, you’re so brave to do this.” “Good for you, it’s great you’re so adventurous with a baby.” Or, my favorite, the one I heard today, “Well, it’s better than staying home and being bored.” What?! Did you have children?!
I just smile and say thanks. But seriously, people, this is not adventurous. Adventurous is keeping both of my kids entertained at home when it’s 100 degrees outside and I am way too wimpy to even open the front door. I might melt, you know. Adventurous is taking a 4 month old and 3 year old to the grocery store. (I still haven’t figured out where to put the groceries when the baby is in the front of the cart and the toddler is in the back. Maybe this is why I can’t make dinner when my choices are goldfish, bottled water or pop tarts.) Adventurous is going to the park and trying to make sure my 3 year old doesn’t fall as he’s climbing up the mountain climbing wall while sitting on the bench trying to feed the baby somewhat modestly. And I just have two kids!
So, I don’t really think taking a baby to San Francisco is that adventurous. But, it is interesting sightseeing with a baby and we have had a great time! She doesn’t really have much of an opinion on where we go as long as I stop and feed her every once in a while. So, it’s been kind of fun doing whatever I want to this week. The funny thing is I am normally a total planner, list writer, organized freak. Maybe that’s why every morning this week I push the stroller out the door of the hotel with absolutely no idea where I’m going. It’s been fun just winging it. And as much as I miss Little E, I have enjoyed the “girl time.”
Well, to all you moms who are at home this week being “bored” with your kids, get adventurous and take a trip to your local grocery store! And if you have figured out where to put the groceries, please let me know!
So, I’m on round two. Little E is three and Baby M just turned 4 months old. I have a little experience with the baby stage. If I had to complete a resume prior to having Baby M, I would have put “Well Qualified in all aspects of babyhood - sleep training expert, breastfeeding pro and wonderful playmate!” Have you ever been hired for a job and realized after a few weeks, that it was a little harder than you expected? Maybe you aren’t as qualified as you thought you were?
So, that’s how I’m feeling now. Not in a negative, what did I get myself into way. I love being a mommy to two completely different individuals. I love watching them grow and explore and start to become more interested in each other. But, I did think it would be a little easier the second time around. And, I shouldn’t complain because both my kids have been pretty easy considering. I just am amazed at how many times I am still consulting my “What To Expect” book in the middle of the night. If any of my neighbors happen to be awake and looking out their window at 2am (this would be wierd), they will see a strange beam of light through the curtains of my bedroom window. This is me, reading ”What To Expect“ with my flashlight so as not to wake up my husband or Baby M. Or, this is me, shining the flashlight towards Baby M to make sure she is still breathing - for the 4′th time!
I have to laugh at myself sometimes. I really think I’m a little more paranoid and hovering the second time around. Maybe this is because I know how precious this time is and I am sad it’s going by so quickly. Maybe it’s because I’m secretly afraid that this may be my last baby and I don’t want it to end. So, this is why Baby M has stayed in our room until 4 months old. Little E was in his room when he was 3 months old. And I remember being happy when it came time to move him to his room. Ahhh, the freedom. My husband and I didn’t have to tiptoe around downstairs after 8pm anymore. It was nice to have adult time and adult space again.
But, the second time around has been so much harder for me. We moved Baby M to her room this past weekend. My stomach was in knots the whole evening anticipating it. And I knew I was over-reacting. I mean she was just going to be upstairs and I have a baby monitor and a night-vision camera monitor (see, I told you I was paranoid! But, in my defense, upstairs is really far away.) So, of course, she did great. She is sleeping better and so are we. And my neighbors are no longer freaked out by wierd light beams shining from my window.
I think in a way it’s a blessing that I am finding the second time around different and more challenging than I expected. It really makes me stop and think and enjoy the time with my two children instead of sailing through on cruise control. So, here’s to all you Mother’s out there experiencing your second, third or fourth time around. Is it harder, easier, more challenging or more rewarding than you expected? Or, do I just really have a problem and need to lock up my flashlights and night vision cameras?
I refer to the time period between 4:00 and 5:30 pm (or whenever my husband comes home) as the “late-afternoon crazies.” I think most Mom’s can agree that this time period can often be the longest of the entire day. It is some strange time warp where things that should normally take 30 minutes (like cooking dinner), can often take upwards of one hour or longer. This is due to everyone in the house getting a little stir crazy in anticipation of Daddy coming home.
The crazies affect even my dog, Andy, who will run to the door barking at any little sound in hopes to see Daddy driving up. This of course means Little E also goes running and screaming through the house to follow Andy and see if Daddy is home. Baby M is too young to understand any concept of time, yet she too seems to babble with a little more excitement and chew on her teething ring with renewed vigor. It’s all really sweet when you think about it. And as soon as my husband comes in the door, he is given a Heroe’s Welcome. Little E runs up and jumps in his arms, Andy the Dog just jumps and Baby M gives Daddy her best smile of the day. My husband has often said that he wishes I would greet him the same way!
As heartwarming as it is, I have had to find a creative way to make it through the Late-Afternoon Crazies and still stay sane and have dinner on the table. So, my solution is to include the kids in making dinner. I know, I know, it’s not anything ground-breaking, but sometimes it’s the simplest solutions that make the biggest difference. Little E loves, loves, LOVES to help cook. He is in that wonderful stage where helping Mommy is fun. So, I plan to milk it as long as I can! When it’s time to cook dinner, I put on his apron and scoot a chair over to the kitchen counter. He stands on the chair and “helps me.” And yes, sometimes his “helping” may create more work for me. But, it’s so cute watching him concentrate when he measures water and carefully stirs the ingredients in the bowl. Even if the recipe doesn’t allow for much 3 year old chef work, I give him a bowl of water and let him sprinkle in a little salt and pepper. He can sprinkle and stir and measure for 10 - 15 minues. In toddler time, I think that’s almost 2 days. Baby M sits in her highchair happily watching the cooking lesson.
So, I suggest that if you have young children that like to cook, include them in dinner preparation. Yes, it is messy and yes it may take twice as long, but it is a fun way to get through the afternoon crazies. And if the kitchen gets really, really messy, Daddy is there to play with the kids and give you extra time to clean up. Another plus I didn’t anticipate is that Little E is much happier to try new things when he helped make them. Oh, and if your kids need some inspiration, just let them watch the Disney movie, Ratatouille!
I am typing this post while sitting in a rocking chair on the deck of a beautiful house in the mountains. We are on a family vacation with my parents, my brother and his wife. Four years ago my definition of a vacation would have been going to someplace sunny and warm, sleeping in late and spending the day relaxing on the beach reading a good book. Boy, how that has changed!
We arrived in the mountains last night around 10:00 which is 2 hours past Little E’s bedtime. All the way here, he was so excited. When he started to see the mountains in the distance he kept repeating, “Look Mom, we’ll be there in no time!” or “I’m going to roast marshmallows on a fire stick!” As you can imagine, when we finally pulled in the driveway, he was in no mood to sleep. So we talked with everyone for a while and let him stay up another hour. Well, he didn’t fall asleep until 1:00 am. Five hours past his bedtime! He really was trying to be obedient and go to sleep - well mostly. He was laying in his inflatable Thomas the Train Engine bed and kept saying, “Dad, it’s not working, I can’t sleep.” or “My tummy hurts, I need medicine.” So, eventually he fell asleep at 1 am and of course woke up at his usual 7 am. Luckily, Baby M slept pretty well, considering. So our day begin with a sleepy start.
We spent the next few hours playing with a new pirate ship toy, exploring the mountain house and enjoying Papa’s special blueberry pancakes. We then went to the local General Store and a little deli for lunch. After driving around for a few minutes, Little E fell asleep and has now been napping for 2 hours. So, my husband and I are sitting on the porch with Baby M in between us in her bouncy seat. We’re enjoying looking at the beautiful view and relaxing together.
So, this wasn’t exactly a sleeping in, lay on the beach, read a good book day. But, it is a spend time with my favorite people in the world, watch my son’s excitement and enjoy seeing Baby M laugh with her family day. Whew, that was a mouthful! Tonight we are going to have ribs and watermelon for dinner, roast marshmallows and light fireworks. And the best part is, I wouldn’t trade this time for any pina colada, sunny beach or good book!
Nothing is permanent, nothing is permanent. This is a motto I made for myself when Little E was a baby. This applies to the good and the bad. Little E has been whining since he opened his eyes at 6:15 this morning? No problem, nothing is permanent. Baby M has been sleeping through the night for 2 weeks straight? Don’t get used to it - nothing is permanent.
So, this is what I have been reminding myself this week - nothing is permanent. When Baby M turned 2 months old, I finally felt like I had a grip on this two kid thing. It may have been a sometimes slippery, barely hanging on grip, but it was a grip. The past two weeks have certainly thrown me for a loop. Baby M was diagnosed with acid reflux and started Zantac. Just as she was beginning to feel better and sleep through the night again, she caught a cold.
Oh my goodness, Little E never had a cold this young so I had no idea how pitiful it was. She was so mad because she couldn’t take her pacifier to help her sleep because then she couldn’t breathe because she was so stuffy. She would fall asleep only to wake up screaming a few seconds later because she was so stuffy. She would wake up 3-4 times at night wanting to eat because her throat was sore. Nothing is permanent, nothing is permanent. I ended up calling the nurse advice line one night and I know I sounded like a freaking out, new mother. But, the nurse calmed me down and assured me that yes, she can breathe just fine, it sounds like she has a very healthy scream. Haha.
But, do you know what I have realized? I am a sometimes freaking out new mom. I’m new to the balancing two children act. Yes, I’ve had a baby already, but I’m new to this little baby. And I’m new to having a three year old. So, I have decided to give myself a break and realize that nothing is permanent. Has Baby M been taking all her naps this week in her swing? Yes. Has Little E watched one too many episodes of Pinky Dinky Doo? Definitely. But, it’s been a rough week and I’m not going to worry about it. Because after all, nothing is permanent and next week will be better. Right?
The bottom line is we are happy and healthy and I have two amazing children! And the crazy thing is sometimes when I look at their sweet little faces, I wish it was permanent. I wish I could freeze time and always remember the exact looks on their faces when I kiss them good night and their sweet little voices. Ahhh, I’m off to go comfort a stuffy baby and wish her troubles will always be this easily fixed.
During a recent family vacation to Myrtle Beach, I was changing Baby M’s diaper in the back of our SUV. A man walking in the parking lot saw me, smiled and said “It’s a Thankless Job, isn’t it? Happy Mother’s Day!” I just kind of smiled back. After he left, I wished I had said no, it’s not a Thankless Job at all – I have two great children.
This led me to wonder – Is Motherhood a Thankless Job? Well, it definitely has its thankless moments. It’s not exactly like your typical job. I don’t have a boss that pats me on the back or gives me a raise when I do a great job. And when Little E is throwing a fit and I am putting him in time out for the 4’th time in 1 hour, he doesn’t stop, look at me with a smile and say “Mommy, you are doing such a great job. I know you are teaching me a lesson so that I will grow up to be a productive member of society. Super Nanny would be Proud!” No, I have yet to hear that! So, technically speaking, I guess it is a thankless job.
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